Todays transmission is going to be directed mainly at the initiators; men. While the expression style itself leans more for women. There is value in both sides, for both sides...
Understanding both polarities is essential in having a nourishing "s€x life". So i decided to shift back and fourth in todays sharing.
It dances between precise examination & floundering dollops of feels. For what its worth, I do hope it lands for you, wherever you are at.
Something I regularly hear from couples, and indeed single women who come to me for sessions, is that the s€x with their partner/lover has become more and more boring over time.⠀
If s€x is becoming boring in a relationship, it’s usually due to an over-emphasis on performance, release, and fantasy - combined with a lack of polarity, embodiment, and connection.⠀
Every time you lay down with your woman, it should naturally be even more beautiful and blissful than the last time. This doesn’t require a pressured performance, as this is generally the main culprit behind why the s€x has become so dull and uninspiring.
What the situation DOES require, is your presence, and your ability to truly see her, hold her, and allow her…to go there. To go everywhere. Un-rushed. Un-judged.
Many people place so much pressure on the performance in s€x, that it ends up strangling the opportunity of s€x ever even entering the room to begin with.
There is nothing essentially wrong with unconscious, friction-based, dispersive s€x - But there also isn’t anything particularly right about it either. Its a means to an end. Its the externally manifested result of how we have been conditioned to fear and hate our own bodies.
Men, If you can, figure out how to be in s€x without expectation.
Without her orgasm being the single defining benchmark that validates your male successfulness. Without searching for orgasm, but rather allowing it to arrive, in its own time(if it even feels to).⠀
Being there, simply to be there, while synchronising with your partner, should be your main intention. Nothing else.⠀
Men need to realise that the pressure he places upon s€x, is one of the main reasons she begins to get bored of it. Because each time she lays down with him, she can never truly relax into s€x(aka into herself).⠀
She feels all of his insecurity, and try-hardness. His unsettledness. His pressure. His hunger. His mousey out-of-control excitement…which triggers her nervous system response; “Unsafe”⠀
She cannot fully relax and let go, because she ends up having to hold all of her own trauma/insecurities, along with all of his…when all she really wanted was to feel held & penetrated with his love and care.⠀
Woman is longing to open - But with a man who can hang there with her, off the edge of the cliff, without falling every time.⠀
A mans process, with or without her, is to become deeply acquainted with his own s€x energy, so that he can eventually ride larger and larger waves of pleasure. So that when he is inside of her, he can be fully there with her - unafraid - steering her into some of the most exquisitely blissful spaces that their union(and her being) has to offer.⠀
None of this comes from a doing. It comes only from a BEING.⠀
As with each clear, stable, & purposeful touch, he transmits his integral eligibility, as man who won’t drop her.⠀
Through this, her body and heart open, more and more - in trust, in love, in longing, in surrender, in gratitude, in wildness, in peachy-giggles and tear-drenched roars. In lower-back-arching ecstasy, so ecstatic, that she forgets where she begins, and where existence ends.⠀
How? Because she feels his presence, sturdy…every step of the way. And he has cultivated the internal ability to sit in mountainous amounts of pleasure. He has capacitated. ⠀
Therefore, in love, and in life - she is never alone.⠀
We got time.⠀
All the time.⠀
Eye contact, smiling. Licking, sucking, claiming. Loving. Indulging, together. ⠀
Lathered in the frothy foam of existence. Undulating. Juicy. Sparkles. Taking all the time.⠀
A steadfast devotion to curiosity & innocence being the cornerstone of this primal, sensual exploration.⠀
Through an attuned consciousness, and your capacitation to intense feminine feeling - you learn how to hold and strum her being, as if she were the most beautiful musical instrument that has ever existed… she is!⠀
The intimate deepening should continue to unravel with time, not contract. If both people are truly being there, to share, without expectation, the s€x will continue to grow.⠀
S€x, is the most life-affirming orchestra, and man - you are the conductor. Her chords are endless.⠀
If you are experiencing her contraction and disinterest in s€x increasing, then you may need to figure out some different ways of subtly approaching her nuanced soul. You may need to check-in with your own polarity, and she with hers.⠀
She longs to turn-on, but it must be in response to something worth turning on for.⠀
You are worth it, (if she has a good man). But there is much to learn in order to keep the fire stoked & evoked. The learning never leaves. The more orgasmic she becomes, the stronger and sturdier you must become, to stay grounded. To stay safe, for you, for her.⠀
Her hearts ability to teach yours - to embellish your life, is perpetual.⠀
Her deepest desire to hand you your crown, is unceasing…⠀
- (If you have a good woman).⠀
The more she opens - the shinier your crown becomes.⠀
Kings come into this planet through Queens.⠀
S€x becomes more and more limitless the longer that you are in union with another.⠀
In its soaked valleys & ravished peaks.⠀
Each moment surpassed by the next.⠀
The ceiling is exchanged for the cosmos.⠀
S€x is a meditation.⠀
Of deep undulating nothingness, that is there for you to explore innocently with another. If you are courageous enough to show up.⠀
If you are becoming bored in s€x...maybe you have never actually been having s€x to begin with? Maybe you were just using friction as a convenient distraction? As a means of avoidance?⠀
Or maybe you have just been in a constant rush, fuelled by your fear of not being good enough? None of it is right or wrong. Its simply one way…⠀
Everything I have shared above, comes not from any form of striving, performing, or looking. All this magic I speak of comes through naturally, on its own accord, through a gentle, loose waiting. ⠀
Without destination. Simply a commitment to being here. Right here, without attempting to be somewhere else.⠀
It comes through a continuous collapsing back into what is already present.⠀
This, I promise you, lacks all possibility of boredom in the bedroom.⠀
Because to be in such an experience, both of you MUST show up fully.⠀
This, is s€x. Actually, this is life!⠀
And it will transform the entire quality of your intimacy into something otherworldly. To the point where the most intense orgasmicness and spiritual pleasure either one of you has ever experienced, arrives up out of a moment where neither one of you are even moving.⠀
La Petite Mort…⠀
Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.