 In the work I do, many of the men who come to see me, want to figure out how to be better with women. I see nothing wrong with this foundational desire for lovingness and connection. Unfortunately, how modern men function around women has become very messy and inauthentic, mainly due to the lack of clear & healthy masculine role-models. When I ask the man what problems he may be currently having, he will usually begin to ramble, sharing all of the things he is doing & saying that just dont seem to be "working". To the point I must interrupt him and ask "where is she in this story? How was she feeling in that moment?" - A confused look is usually the response. Men, she is not a robot with codes, she is a person, with a heart! Most men get so caught up in themselves and their egos, that they totally forget their is a beautiful woman infront of them, wanting to be felt. He gets swept up in his attempt to use her as an ego validation short-cut. She doesnt really give a fuck about how many mountains you have climbed, if she cannot feel you, feeling her. (sidenote: She also, for the most part, totally doesnt give a fuck about your problems. Dont get me wrong, she will smile and nod and listen to you, but in reality...she wishes you would stand up tall and sort your shit out, so you dont expect her to babysit and mother you. So she can start to love you more wildly, knowing that you got this, and her. So she can melt, more, and more, and more. A puddle of embodiment.) ..She wants you to feel her...To tune into her...To care enough about her, that you are choosing to be fully present for her. If you are NOT willing to be there, then please LEAVE HER ALONE! Woman is a heart-based being, who needs to feel you meet her, so she can decide wether or not she can even begin to trust you. Also, you can never be "good" with women. Let this go. You can only be good with yourself. This, coincidentally, will allot you everything you need in order to connect deeper with a woman who you may be drawn to. Id like to finish by saying; It is very difficult to have another human being like you, if you act and behave in a way which demonstrates you dislike yourself. Stop avoiding your feelings. Stop performing. Stop chasing. Instead, be authentic(if you dont know what that means, go figure it out), and slow down, enough, so you can begin to make contact with her. Because if you dont, you will end up totally missing her. You will have to face discomfort and fear within this process, but luckily its everything to do with you...which means you can take back responsibility for your own life; for your own healing. Much love, Chris Receive Chris´s new articles by email 
5 Comments
Bokang Thoola
4/15/2019 01:29:45 pm
So if a woman doesn't give a fuck about the many mountains i have climbed,how the hell do i even have to bother feeling her?satisfying the her ego desire to be felt while i have to to disown my ego desire to be validated. I do not understand, its always men called to cater for women needs, how about women, so its OK for them to not give a fuck about the man i am. Toxic.
Jawsh
4/15/2019 11:43:04 pm
you need to directly communicate with women with your presence and be WITH them right there in the moment - that's what gets them aroused and inspired to open up to you sexually. in the MOMENT they can only FEEL you, they don't wanna be thinking about you (thinking tends to disconnect). by impressing her with abstract info about how strong and masculine you are based on external things is only working to your detriment. this way you demonste your perceived absence of your inherent self-worth.
Bokang Thoola
4/16/2019 08:23:03 am
OK, this is interesting,so is it every woman who is in tune with the feeling side of her?Judging from how women will be interested in a man according to materialistic possessions a man have,its hard for a man to not succumb to displaying how strong and masculine he is, like a peacock ruffling its feathers for a peahen
Nicolas
9/24/2019 04:49:43 pm
I absolutely agree. I see very contradictory ideas in articles like this one, like you should feel yourself and dive in your insecurities, but when around her you should have none so she can feel that you got this and can melt. I always come to the conclusion that in their version the man has to work for two: himself and her, she can just wait for you to show up, give you her shit and you take care of her, but who takes care of you? 9/28/2019 07:53:37 pm
She gives you her shit because on the other dude of her giving you her shot is her surrender to you. Most men object to her “giving you her shit” because it’s chaotic and entangling therefore it disgusts our masculine impulse for freedom and order. We don’t have the inner clarity to weather the storm so we never get to the other side of it. There is a difference between abuse and feminine chaotic emotional expression. Leave a Reply. |
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Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied. Archives
January 2021
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