How Your Relationship With Your Mother Has Fucked You Up With Women

We have all been conditioned via our relationships with our mothers to be ‘good boys’, to ‘behave’, to be ‘nice’, and always make sure you are not upsetting mother, because if you do, then you will be punished for doing something ‘wrong’ and made feel bad.

The first and most important/pronounced issue to deal with straight away is your relationship with your mother. It seems like an odd ‘therapist couch’ thing to bring up, but the way you behave and feel around women AND life was created, cultivated and designed through your experiences with your mother.

I have never met any man who does not have a certain element of shame around his sexuality. Even with men who are very good with women, they can still have this issue present deeply. This shame and eagerness to please the females you come in to contact with, is directly related to your relationship with mom.

Think back to your childhood and remember your mother punishing you for doing something SHE deemed as ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. What was your reaction? To feel upset, maybe ashamed or embarrassed, even fearful. This was your first female/male relationship.

We have all been conditioned via our relationships with our mothers to be ‘good boys’, to ‘behave’, to be ‘nice’, and always make sure you are not upsetting mother, because if you do, then you will be punished for doing something ‘wrong’ and made feel bad.

Understand that the reason you did what you did in the first place was because your free spirited male instinct decided ‘oooh, I want to do that’, so you did. You followed your purpose, in a confident way. Then you were scolded and told ‘that is bad, that is wrong, don’t do that again’. Over time, you began to relate to your instincts in a negative way, and view them as not good. You stopped listening to them and pushed them down, for fear of being punished by your mother.

Now, you see you desires and instincts as bad, things to be ashamed of and guilty of. This is why you get scared at the thought of wanting to start a conversation with a pretty girl. What if you do bad and she punishes you? This is why men want 400 openers that ‘work’. To escape the inevitable scolding.

(As a side-note, just imagine the type of man you would be now, if everything you did as a little boy was encouraged and rewarded. Yeah, you wouldn’t be reading this.)

As we get older and enter puberty, we start to form the physical attributes, and the internal hormone release of men. This drives a whole lot of testosterone and newfound masculinity into our body and mind. We begin to change, and new instincts, sexual instincts are born.

For most boys, this transition is a confusing and sometimes scary time, without any clear, open, and honest guidance. I mean, sure, you might have had sex Ed class in school, but that is perverted by the societal hierarchy and heavily navigated through a veil of religious views.

So, at this point, we are in a cluster-fuck of confusion, as our newly masculine desires are pointing us one way, while everything else is telling us how wrong they are. This results in the shameful masturbation habits of young boys, which extends into adulthood.

I am no different than you. I remember as a teenager feeling incredibly horny and frustrated, but ashamed of it, waiting until everyone was out of the house so my mother would never have a chance of catching me and punishing me. I assumed if she caught me she would be absolutely disgusted, and scold me, and make me feel super bad. When they left the house, and I mean the second I saw the car take the left hand turn out of the driveway, onto the motorway, I would lock myself in the bathroom and do it as quickly as possible. Discarding of any evidence.

This was an anxiety-fueled panic.

As the years went on, like all of us, I began to get a bit more arrogant in my masturbations, and I began to do it in my room, EVEN in the sitting room, watching really shit porn on mute. I had one hand on my penis, and my ears on the floorboards above my head. Only fellow males will know what I mean when I refer to the 6th sense one acquires mid masturbation. We could hear a spider fart from 500 miles away. The fear of being found out generates godly superpowers in us.

This is possibly a little humorous to you, and it should be because it was ridiculous of me, and anyone else for that matter to be so deceiving, secretive, and shameful about exploring personal sexuality. It didnt help that my at home sex education came from my mother handing me a small black book from the 70s about sex, then awkwardly walking away. To pour more salt on the ‘sexuality is bad’ wound, in the first lesson of my sex Ed class in primary school, I was made stand up in front of the class for 2 hours, then had my parents called in, after I said “i like girls boobs”, in a response to the teacher telling us that girls have breasts when they reach puberty.

Oh Mr Healy…If you could only see how I make a living now you sexually frustrated and judgemental rat bastard!

But I digress…

This way of interacting with your sexual feelings, gets carried into your daily life, and has a large impact on your relationships with everyone around you.

It is built upon hiding such a large, natural, and healthy part of yourself. I’m not talking about masturbation, I am talking about how you relate to your own sexuality and the things you feel in your body, such as your instinctual drives and male purpose.

If you are moving through your life with your mother still firmly rooted in who you are as a man, then you will remain a cautious little boy. How you can tell in your own life:

• You have an eagerness to always please women and are afraid of having them react in a negative or judgmental way towards you
• You struggle to express your sexual desire to women you find attractive
• You fear being ‘too forward’ with women
• You seek validation from others around you
• Wanting everyone to approve, like, and be friendly with you.

Obviously, there are many more manifestations of still trying to please mummy.

This is where, how, and why ‘indirect game’ exists. It’s created on the precipice of hiding your sexuality so you can weasel what you want out of, and trick mummy, without being scolded.

You MUST come to terms with the fact that your mother does NOT know best. She does NOT know what is best for you, as she is an entirely different human being, and on top of that, she is a woman. You are a man. You are polar opposites.

Also if your parents are still alive or even if not, remember that your mother has a vagina, and she uses it to fuck your dad. Your dad puts his stiff cock in your mothers wet pussy. Yeah? Get a clear idea of that. If this grosses you out, you are not free of your mother issues. See her for who she is…a woman.

I love my mother for everything she has done for me. I love her as her son. I am ever grateful for everything she has done for me, but no longer do I allow her opinions to camp out in my head. She is a strong, fiery, and very masculine woman with endless opinions of how her way is the right way. She is the boss of my father for sure.

The solidarity in all of us men should be owning exactly what we want to do, without fear of others. I love both my parents dearly, and it is not either of their faults. My father had a bad relationship with his father, so by the time I hit puberty, he became awkward around me, as he did not know how to show his love. My mother on the other hand, came from a family of strong women who did exactly what they wanted. I have learned to appreciate my mothers masculine side now. She held ship in an awesome way, and my dad was still her inspiration.  I have also learned many lessons from my dad, and I am forever greatful to him, for everything.

Understand that your mother did not screw you up on purpose. Love her. But separate any willingness to please.

I find that once men read this, and relate it to their own lives, they can begin to see where their anxiety and fear around women comes from.

Set yourself free. You must, if you want to give women what they TRULY desire, not what mummy has led you to believe. It is also essential to reclaiming your masculine instincts and listening to them. Mothers scolding has no more power over you, unless you allow it.

Women want your desire, your lust, your dominance, your decisiveness, your spontaneity, your masculine instinct, and your sexual vitality. The women of the world are starved and NEED it.

Cut that umbilical chord!
Chris