Lately I have been spending a lot of my time sharing what men need to work on, in order to be of greater strength and support for our women, children, and community...
Today, it's the women's turn, and I will be speaking to this collective statement:
“I want a conscious man.”
Firstly, beware of what you ask for...!
The allusive phrase “I want a conscious man” reverberates off the walls of the new-age goddess movement - while I'm left scratching my head attempting to figure out do these women even know what they are asking for?
Many women will ask for a conscious man - until they meet one. The “why” behind this, is the point of today's sharing.
In my experience/opinion, most women are not yet in a place of their own heart-based development where they would even know how to be with this man, nor would they even appear on his radar to begin with. I'm hoping this article changes that.
A conscious mans presence in your life is like a laser beam of clarification, which serves to illuminate and burn-up everything which is unlike love & maturity.
You will be seen, and not necessarily in the ways you would most like to be seen. You will be seen as you are.
Bubbles will burst. Fantasies will drown. And only what is real will remain. (Which just so happens to be far more beautiful than anything else.)
A conscious man will simply see what is. The rest is irrelevant to him. The more a woman attempts to pull his attention to the fake, the more she performs & gets caught up in childish/emotionally manipulative behaviors - the more repulsed he becomes.
Make no doubt about it, this seeing, this clarity - will rile up, expose, and have you come face to face with every last piece of yourself as a woman, and all the ways you have been programmed and conditioned.
A conscious man will lovingly and fiercely pin you right up against your own sludge, so you get to see the reality of that which you have been stooling in. He will not clean it up for you. He will not make it all better. But he will love and support you through your own reclamation process. He will be your #1 supporter, if you allow him to be.
In layman's terms: A man of integrity will NOT cater to a grown-ass woman behaving like a 6 year old, for any reason, ever. He doesn’t have the lifetime nor the energetic space for such distraction. This is why it is imperative she drops all of her manipulative tendencies as early on in her life as possible - if she wants to attract a good quality man.
How does a woman attract a conscious man? Well firstly, It has nothing to do with “calling him in”, and everything to do with the practical level of feminine value, nourishment and embellishment she brings to his life & mission.
Just like a woman wants a conscious man for all the value he brings to her; the immeasurable levels of steadiness, commitment, clarity, fuck, exhale, excitement, freedom, safety, resourcefulness, partnership, order, and stability that he offers.
You want a conscious man, because of the value he brings to your life. Because of what he gives.
Well It goes both ways.
My intention is for women to hopefully drop the spiritual fluff in their relational practices, and simply understand these practical elements first so that they can be embodied. These will be far more supportive to being met by a good man.
How does a woman attract a conscious man? By demonstrating the depth of her receptivity and transparency to him.
(Note: I said a conscious/good/loving/trustworthy man. A woman should never offer receptivity and transparency to an unconscious male. This can be drastically dangerous.
Discernment is a large aspect of our inner development, and I am sharing everything today with the underlying assumption that your discernment is awake.)
This requires courage, and most women just aren’t there yet in their process. There is far more healing which needs to be done on a collective level, around how men have abused women's trust, sovereignty, independence and freedom.
Trust towards men can only be regained once she stops playing with the little boys who disregard, lie to, and abuse her - while meeting new blueprints of healthy maleness.
Receptivity & transparency. How does this look in the real world?
I'm going to use an example to land the concept:(it doesn’t always have to be this way, obviously. It also happens the other way around. But what I'm about to present, and the power behind it, is never really alluded to.)
Let's say you are at a social gathering, and you notice a man across the room. You feel his presence, his potency, something - which makes you feel all tingly and excited inside. You feel drawn to him. You recognize he is different from the others.
You would love for him to come to you and start engaging, so you begin running all the little-lady tricks and techniques you know, to start getting his attention.
You use the tricks and techniques which have gotten you attention in the past, from other men. And even in the room right now, other men are starting to notice you. But, were these men the caliber you are now attempting to “call in”? Probably not. These were probably the hungry men. The horney men. The “hit it and quit it” men.
Most women are attempting to catch a good man, while using bait which only attracts boys. So she ends up catching boys…repeatedly.
You throw all your best moves from across the room at this powerful man…and nothing.
Because a conscious man has integrity…and powerful options.
We know the difference between how a woman carries herself, and how a manipulative little-girl carries herself. For a conscious man, no levels of physical beauty are worth the headaches that the latter choice would bring to his life.
This is just the raw, honest truth. It's important these things are communicated as clearly as possible.
So, what gets this type of mans attention?
It's mainly the 2 things I mentioned above.
A powerful and embodied woman would not wait for him to notice her, as she understands how fucking RARE it is to find a good quality man in this day and age - so when she meets one, she acts immediately, honoring her embodied visceral, while presenting her vulnerability and transparency - which is very attractive to a conscious man.
She would stride right over to him(even with her shyness), interrupt him, and express to him how she is deeply feeling his presence, and she would express all the ways it was affecting her. Vulnerable. Real. Beautiful. There.
Now, you have his attention - and you have also shown so much of your feminine value. You have demonstrated some core principles of what his life gains, with a woman of your caliber a part of it.
It may seem like an insignificant situation, but it is not.
This is also a great way to see what the man is made of, in terms of how he responds.
A man who is not comfortable with luscious & mature feminine assertion & power, is probably not the man you are looking for.
The above scenario may feel very strange for you to digest, if you have been raised on what I call the Disney diet - waiting for Prince Charming to come find you.
Ill repeat - It has nothing to do with you “calling him in”, and everything to do with you letting him know you are here, ready, willing.
Some women may fear the above approach is “too masculine” or “aggressive” - I assure you it is not. Some of the most powerful and alive women I have ever met have been heart based initiators.
It is one of the most vulnerable and exposed situations to put yourself in. Receptive and transparent, to the core! It also shows how grown she is in relationship with her heart and sovereignty.
A conscious man is looking for receptivity(you feeling and registering his frequency in your body), and your transparency(you expressing EXACTLY how it is moving through you), in order to be able to trust you. This is how men come to trust & feel safe with a woman. I'm forever talking about what women need to feel safe - well this is what men desire to feel safer.
A conscious man is only interested in a woman who is willing to FEEL every atom of his penetrating presence, and being totally transparent in reflecting it back to him, as it moves through her luscious soil.
How does a woman lose a conscious man? Easy, by refusing to take on full responsibility in her own maturation process, and assuming his patience and compassion for her unconsciously throwing-up all over him is never-ending. It isn’t.
A conscious man is clearly boundaried - as most of his energy is to be utilized in carrying out his mission. A womans presence is either supporting this in him, or being a hinderance towards it. (When I say “supporting this in him” I do not mean in 1950s housewife subservience. I mean that her powerful womanhood/juiciness is either nourishing and energizing him, or her unprocessed childishness is being a distracting drain on him.)
A conscious man cannot be controlled. He cannot be emotionally manipulated with tears or baited with s€xual favor. He cannot be guilted, nor can he be shamed into disempowering himself. He sees manipulative performance, and is repulsed by the posture.
To be around a conscious man, a woman is required to be grown-as-hell, fast.
He is his own governing body, and has been self-clarified and validated long before you ever chose to enter his space. I feel this is very important information for a woman to have, so she can remove her energy from these more destructive and childish pulling-patterns that she is used to placing upon under-developed men - Her tricks and techniques will not achieve the same response from an embodied man, and they are very damaging to a conscious partnership.
(To clarify, a woman consciously going into these childish expressions and patterns as a method of healing, playing, or transmuting is beautiful and necessary, and something the man will commit to loving her through. But if it remains as her foundational way of engaging with life, now he is disrespecting himself by continuing to be there.)
Your heart, your love, your vulnerability, your transparency is the only thing he can trust in you. Its the North Star he is always attempting to land with you.
Why am I sharing everything I am sharing today?
1 - because many of the women I have worked with over the years have requested I write clearly and directly on this topic as its been of great support to their own relational process after sessions.
& 2 - because as soon as men start to witness the women only laying down with consciousness, he will have no choice but to do his work. To clear himself up. To put the toys down. To reclaim his own matured beautifulness. To see himself, first.
Women are desperately seeking men to do their work, wanting a king…yet there she is, repeatedly taking in a man-boy and allowing him inside of her body, her heart, her mind - Over, and over, and over again. Tolerating his immaturity & mothering him, hoping he will change(while his actions show no evidence of this), in the disguise of loving him - which ends up weakening him.
When a woman coddles the man-boy, the man-boy has no need to develop or wake up. He is already having his base needs met, so why the fuck would he bother?
Accountability goes both ways.
Women, you are either inviting a conscious man into your life and holding that standard, holding that space - or you are pretending you are - while continuing to make decisions which are totally out of alignment with your higher intention; subjecting yourself to under-cooked versions of love.
Once we can arrive at a place of being deeply honest with ourselves, we can finally begin to make true shifts in what we are calling into our lives as individuals.
Everything I share, is to intend and allow a wider avenue for unconditional love to flood through. True love is birthed fourth via truth with one another. We are all responsible. We are all immensely powerful once in contact with our natural frequency. This is the work - seeing how we say one thing, and then go and act out the total opposite!
Honoring self will take more commitment and accountability than anything you have ever stepped in to in your entire life. It will break you, and it will make you.
The deeper you go in, the more you may find yourself in vaster quantities of aloneness as you grow, but this is perfectly normal. For this allows space, for higher forms of creation, attraction, and love to enter your life.
You, us, we - deserve it all.
I invite you.
Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.