Wow, this is strange for me. Not the point of this post, but the fact that this is the first time in over a year that I have opened this blog to personally write an article. You see, I just deleted my Facebook, and Instagram is next. Many of the previous and most recent posts on this blog were originally created for Instagram. My wonderful assistant Emma had the arduous role of transferring them over.(Thank you Emma)
I just want to share, before jumping into the article topic, the importance of signing up to my mailing list as this will be the easiest way to get immediate access to my newest articles, videos, podcasts (a new one is on the way), and also full access to many of the free live webinars that I randomly set up, along with my upcoming retreats.
I am no longer functioning on social media, which I am very pleased about, and something which I will discuss in more detail soon. Now...Lets get into todays topic!
The Anxiety Of Approaching A Woman
The average man experiences huge fear and anxiety when it comes to approaching a woman, simply because he gives a huge fuck about all of the insane conditioning he has been filled with. He assumes it all to be true. He has never deeply questioned it within himself. He has never profoundly self enquired, in the ways in which his conditioning needs to be met, in order for it to be exposed for what it is...un-true.
You are what you eat, both physically and mentally.
His mind has been fed madness for his entire male life. Full of all the ways in which he is supposed to be for others. He never commits to his own self-clarification work, which means he is motivated and imprisoned via madness, which he gives full priority to. He values everybody elses thoughts more than his own. He looks for his value outside of himself. He looks for what is right and wrong, outside of himself. And he looks for leadership, yep, you guessed it...outside of himself. Mainly because he fears having to make decisions, unable to claim full responsibility over outcome of those decisions, therefore never claiming his own kingdom.
You may be asking what all of this has to do with the fear a man feels when he as much as thinks about meeting a woman, but it has everything to do with it.
A mans fear, is born out of his confusion. A man of clarity, a man who truly understands his "why" behind everything he does, will move with life confidently. Confusion begets more confusion, which triggers huge fear of the unknown. YOU are your unknown. When you can begin to meet and know yourself, the unknown transcends into the known. Self confidence, self assurance, stability, and definiteness is harvested from ones level of internal knowing.
When a man is full of un-clarified madness(aka a million external opinions), his conditioning is directly dictating his movements, his interactions, how he feels about himself, and the places in which he operates his life from. This conditioning is something which the man has tried to live his life in accordance with, as society prides its own insane creation. Its a method of control. Most modern men are so sleepy, that they live their lives as slaves. He is so conditioned that he has been tricked into believing he is free. He believes the decisions that he makes are his own. They are not!
When you are walking around in life holding a gigantic mess on your shoulders, how do you expect to feel assured, potent, and firm in what you bring to the woman? and to the world? Its impossible!
(Although pick-up-artists attempt to bypass this process of clarification with manipulation/performance techniques. In my last 10 years of assisting humans, I have seen the long-term effects that this path has on men. It drops him down an even deeper hole of self-hatred and confusion. Its similar to putting a bandaid on a tumor. Why would you do such a thing?)
The Conditioned Man
Any form of conditioning is very bad for a mans freedom and evolution. It is also very dangerous for the woman to be around, as it bleeds into the community via her receptivity and allowance towards it. She raises her young sons by it, further perpetuating the spread of indoctrination. But, I digress...
Conditioning within a man communicates to him all of the ways he is weak, bad, and dangerous. All the ways he is not good enough, and then society shows him the answer to his feelings of self-hatred. Society poisons him, and then attempts to sell him the cure, which he buys into, which makes him even sicker.
Theres a saying in casinos; "the house always wins". Well if you gamble your life away by societies rules, the same applies.
One of the most dangerous aspects of conditioning, is It shows the man all of the ways in which he must appease to the world, outside of himself. Therefore, when a man has 7 billion factors going against his natural desire to communicate his attraction for a woman, it becomes almost apocalyptic to walk over and introduce himself.
A Note On Rejection
A woman cannot reject a man, only his offer.
She is rejecting your offering, which is perfectly fine. Heck, its essential!
A man who has done his internal work knows this to be truth. He generously offers what he has brought fourth to the planet with clarity, making full commitment to his offering, regardless of wether it is accepted or not. This man never takes anything personally. Nor does he force his offering on any woman.
A man of understanding moves through his life AS the offering, and allows the opposite sex to make her own decision on wether or not she would like to engage with it, or not. A man of understanding does not fall apart and question his worth when a woman he moves towards, moves away. It has nothing to do with his worth.
The man who has done/is doing his spiritual work is fully aware of the value that his presence can bring to another. He is also fully supportive of every other being making their own decisions, and following what feels right for them. He is of deep integrity.
"A Man Of Understanding Never Takes It Personally"
Id like to clarify the above quote specifically, by mentioning that it only applies to the man who is in some way conscious and aware of himself, his actions, and his motivations. You must be accountable in sex, love, and life. Once you are present and are of good, loving intentions, then you should never take any persons judgements or criticisms personally. Its really nothing to do with you.
But, if you are an unconscious, needy, confused mess, and you are attempting to pull from women sexually to feed your own ego, and they are responding to you in an abrasive and shut down way, then you should most definitely bring awareness to how you are showing up in this area of your life. Do not take anything so personally to the point you are beating yourself up, but always see her reflection of you, and delve into understanding it, curiously. Notice all the fear and insecurities that may well up in you, and allow yourself to be with those feelings, lovingly. Patiently. They will eventually pass through you, but only once you allow yourself to feel them to their deepest edges.
Allow yourself to see the repetitive reflections you inspire from women. In this way, the collective feminine may have a pattern of communication towards you which you must be willing to see. This is what your beingness is generating in her, and a conscious man is always deeply aware of how his presence is moving a woman within every moment, for this is how he makes love to her.
What I invite the man to acquire, is an exposed openness in all of his shady areas. A willingness to expose himself, for the betterment of his life, and the community.
I invite you into all of your blind spots. To drop the ego and be willing to see your reflection for what it truly is.
Look for your reflection within the magnificent women around you, and exercise lovingness and patience along your process, without lashing out at her for showing you something about yourself which you are not willing to see. Use it all as intelligence.
Express yourself, freely, to express yourself. Express what you fear expressing. Express your fear of expressing your fear. Express. Let the tap run until all of that muddy water is fully out, and the stream is totally clear.
Be fierce. Be relentless for truth. But stay sensitive to life, and to your emotions.
Be in gratitude.
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Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.