In our current society, men have been entirely confused & misguided around how to really step to a woman from a place of integrity...
He has been blinded to her deepest essence of what she truly desires from him. He has been instructed with all types of childish nonsense which he must bring to women in order to "get her". This is a gigantic issue which has distorted the male/female dynamic on the planet, and in turn our health and happiness.
*Welcome to this GIGANTIC post. Id like to preface this by stating that the following sharing is to point out the reality of what is going on right now on the planet when it comes to relating, and how our general fear of our own humanness has us adopt a wide variety of dysfunctional behaviours, beliefs and patterns around intimacy. This is what I will speak to, as without our awareness to it, nothing can be shifted. I bounce around a bit as i shift from different aspects, so stay with me, it has its purpose.
My intention is also to share with my fellow brothers my vast experiential understanding of what is truly going on for women right now, so that he can start to develop a more integral plane of empathy and understanding for his beautiful opposite and counter-part.
For the women, my intention is that you feel seen, heard, and lovingly supported in all of the places you long to be met. Thank you for your constant trust and support in me as a man, thank you for sharing so intimately with me your world and your experience of it - and for your never-ending support in what I stand here for.
Finally, in no way am I going to be supporting the bullshit social narrative of either genders in this post. So if you are attached to anything PC culture, this article will be lethal for you. If you are going to start reading this, I advise you to read it in full. Otherwise you will miss the complete transmission. Thank you.
Lets jump right in shall we, and look at what women want, or better yet, what we think women want.
The first main issue that arises when it comes to the courting process, is that men learn to play games(badly) with women(who are naturally much more adept), in order to bait her & convince her into s€x and attraction with shiny treats; further fuelling the "little princess" epidemic & keeping powerful embodied womanhood stunted. All the while castrating himself in the process. He first met these "games" as a young boy, through his relationship with his mother, as a way to get his needs met. Similar to how a young girl learns. We are trained to play games, via parental figures who play their own.
When a young boy becomes s€xually developed enough to the point that he feels pulled to s€x, his own social circle begins to dictate the appropriate ways to approach this desire. It is rarely healthy and clear. It is shrouded in secrecy and shame...which only accompanies that which is apparently not ok.
After some time he investigates deeper into other ways he can get his desires met, rather than coming clean and announcing his totally uninhibited love and acceptance for the opposite s€x and how lovely woman makes him feel.
He wants to be a seducer, a player, a super-spiritual tantra man, and learns all of the techniques that he has been sold by other men; who have not yet fully-matured, healed or even developed as males. He trusts these man-boys and believes their self-proclaimed prophecies of being the worlds greatest ladies men.
These unequipped mentors(whom are aplenty in the “mens coaching” industry) regurgitate on to him wounded nonsense, that only serves to weaken and confuse him more, whilst simultaneously being bombarded by the PC social narrative. It also harms the woman, as his techniques and manipulative ways of engaging mangles her ability to trust, love and revere the masculine in its truest healthiest form.
Time goes by and the male becomes a bigger male, but thats about it. He stays internally distorted in relation to his s€x energy, and his expression/embodiment of it.
Meanwhile for the woman, she meets and experiences so many of these disingenuous males from such an early age(right back to her father in many cases), she assumes that this is what a man is - a creature who continuously breaks his word, who must manipulate to get his needs met, and use her in order to validate his own masculinity - whether it is via his nice-guy act, or bad-boy bravado.
She lives her life as a woman who has had no felt sense understanding/experience of what a good man feels like, moves like, & communicates like. This is quite detrimental to her expansion and growth, as without a healthy version of the directive energy present in her life, she finds it incredibly challenging to stay clear and at ease in her body.
She loses touch with the love of her own femininity & where it lives inside of her, because it has become unsafe for her to be in it, with such unaccountable men (& women) in her vicinity.
In turn, she becomes more neurotic and backed-up energetically & s€xually(especially if she is still partaking in mediocre s€x), continuously subscribing to allusive fairytales in relationships, and projecting them onto the next male who shows up. Its a clusterfuck of unclarity and confusion.
She eventually closes down her heart and body to further protect herself from the sloppiness, roaming through relationships and s€xual experiences which have very little depth and connection. She no longer reveres her s€x. Instead she uses it in the only seemingly positive channel she can find; as a manipulation tool, to wrap weak under-developed men around her finger, requesting him to now feed all of her childish disconnected wants. Bitterness ensues.
I know i know, it doesnt sound pretty at all does it?...rather morbid infact... but its real, and that is the only thing I am concerned with sharing; what is real right now.
This reality is what I must see daily with many of the wonderful women who come to see me for the work I do, but also out in the world, everywhere. This misalignment is everywhere.
If every man could wake-up to the profoundly destructive impact that he not showing up real and clear in his life has, Im sure things would shift rapidly, and love could live here in a far greater way.
*What Do Women Want From Men?*
As I previously mentioned: "Men have been entirely confused about how to step to a woman, and the deepest essence of what she truly desires from him."
Over the last 7 years working with, supporting and assisting thousands of women from all over the world, it has become profoundly clear what a woman not only wants from man, but absolutely needs from him...and its not what you may assume...
She needs your PRESENCE!
Thats pretty much it in its deepest form.
Woman fundamentally wants 1 main cornerstone principle from man (whether she even realises it or not): his full, steady, fierce, loving presence. His presence - She wants your presence.
Everything else you attempt to do or be, when it is detached from your presence, is absolutely worthless, because you have not brought yourself forward to her. Without your presence...You are not even there. Meaning a whole load of other shit fills the space.
Male presence is deeply healing and nourishing for woman, her heart, and her s€x. Its how man loves, through his presence.
Do I need to say it again? I will anyway, incase you missed it - Men, she wants your PRESENCE! She craves it! It initiates so much aliveness in her being. It feeds her. It sparks her. It makes her dance and melt simultaneously.
Its always funny how when some women hear me say this, they will roll their eyes. This is a woman who has not actually ever been made love to by an embodied man - One who has done his work. This is the woman who has been so unmet by the machismo/nice-guy culture, that she finds it self-affirming, supportive and protective to adhere to the "I dont need no man" movement.
Its similar to a man who has only ever experienced women to be pseudo-masculine / spoiled-little-princesses. He assumes woman is only that thing - So he ends up missing the power that resides in a woman who has reached a place of heart embodiment, her unconditionality. He misses all the beautifully nourishing gifts which reside there, and dismisses woman before he has ever had the pleasure of meeting one.
Its easy to feel like you dont need something, when you have never truly experienced it.
Once you experience it, you can never go back!
*Why Being Present Is So Difficult For Man*
I know, it sounds almost too simple and easy right? Just be present. Well, kind of...
You see, to be fully with her in presence, will take a lot of courage for a man. Because his presence, firstly, exposes himself!
All of his fears, insecurities, shame, lack of self-worth. It will all be felt when he moves into presence.
His presence gives him zero games and tricks to lean on. He is wide open and fully visible to her; the one whom he has spent his life trying to be something for. The one who he is starved of love for. The one who birthed him - Not his actual mother in this sense, but woman, in her vast collectivity.
When man becomes truly present with woman, he becomes present with the magnificent force that brought him into this life. The one which held him, nursed him, cared for him. The one which innately feels like the warmest, safest, most nourishing place in this life available to him.
When a man becomes present with her, he feels that deep reverence and awe he has for woman, and what she is to and for him. This is utterly terrifying, because what the fuck is he supposed to do with all of that energy? With all of that love? With all of that fragility and vulnerability he feels come up with her? And what about that beautiful erection that has rose up to meet her? the one that he is embarrassed and ashamed about? It all runs so deep you see.
He was never told about any of this, because the men before him were also confused and terrified - Never instructed how to communicate himself. This is so much much of the work that I do with men, its mentoring. Whereas with women its all energywork to reconnect her to the depths of her womanhood. We need different things, because we function differently.
Out of his total confusion - man shuts down his own internal female so he no longer has to feel stuff. He hardens up and becomes detached.
Now he looks to control her, because if she was let free, he would be forced to feel again. He would be forced to accept he has absolutely no control over any of this...and that, is terrifying for his little boy who feels weak.
So to the women, I share this partly for you, so you can hear the depth of the internal obstacles that men are met with, simply when it comes to being an authentic and embodied man in front of you. You have the ability to be super beautiful, magnificent and powerful. You are a part of what birthed us here. Unless a man really does his inner god-work he will be always attempting to reach out and take from you. This is the pattern for him. Because without you, where the fuck is he supposed to get his love and nourishment from?
*The Power Of The Embodied Man*
To go slightly deeper for a moment - When a man does do his work and develops himself spiritually, he then rises in his role.
He arrives to a matured place of being. This man comes to her with understanding and access to his truest power, penetrating her with his godliness - nourishing, protecting, and seeding an oasis of bliss within her. Opening her to more of her capabilities and life essence. She longs to be penetrated by his god consciousness. She longs to feel it flow through her, seeing her, illuminating her - boiling her waters of transformation.
He assists and supports her in the activation and opening of her heart, s€x and body. He pulls her deeply back down into her body. He holds her fully accountable for what is real and never supports even an inch of bullshit in her. He loves fiercely, and communicates directly. He showers her with his divine electricity, and reinvigorates every cell in her being, feeding her internal goddess - She then pulls him back home, to the womb-space, to the heart, and teaches him love. She drenches him in her depths of unconditionality. Her power, softness, and bliss.
**BACK TO THE PRACTICAL**
With all that being said, it is not as easy as "just be present" for a man. Because It takes all of his commitment to self, to healing all of his own wounds, without mommy.
In a society that encourages men to perform, dance, dazzle, and impress women - stripping himself all the way back to the foundation is the most terrifying thing imaginable for him; because he too has been wounded by distorted & dysfunctional feminine energy in his life, all the way back to his mother.
The beautiful thing is, for men, we heal through figuring out how to be, and how to STAY present, with whatever happens to be there.
Thankfully, her nature is in direct support of your presence, as she needs to feel you be totally there WITH her. Feeling her. Penetrating her. Piercing her with your consciousness, so she even has something of integrity to open and respond to.
If you cannot feel her, she cannot trust you, period.
Presence, and to whatever level the man has acquired the ability to be in it, is the depth at which she will be met & aroused. Presence is how a man holds a woman. It´s how he makes love to her. It´s how he fucks her.
(As a sidenote, not every woman is at a time in her life/growth where she can actually handle a mans full presence, as consciousness tends to light upon and expose everything which is not wanting to be seen right now. Some women, whom at this moment feel the craving to stay stuck in child-mode, or a woman who has been deeply mishandled and abused by males, will rightfully avoid anything that even resembles the male form looking to connect deeper... as if it was the plague, because she dare not risk being seen by what has caused her so much hurt in the past. A man of clarity & understanding will be patient & recognise this, and he will support her, at her pace, through his loving-care for her healthy womanhood.)
**PRESENCE IS THE SOIL**
When people are asked what women truly want from a man, you will get many opinions, from the superficial to the more foundational - which all have their own merits. Qualities such as safety, trustworthiness, authenticity, honesty, attractiveness/s€xiness, respect, money, an exciting lifestyle etc will all come up frequently.
In my extensive experience over the years working with & supporting women and the feminine energy, it is very clear that in most cases, a woman has very little understanding of what she wants logically, but she knows how it FEELS in her body and in her heart.
Much of what she expresses verbally may be things that society has told her she ought to want; detached from her truest voice.
Because modern day man has made very little effort to tune in and hear her underneath the words, she must attempt to communicate this feeling logically in a male way, which lacks so much of the necessary flavour and nuances that she feels through on a moment to moment basis.
She compromises her nature, in a desperate attempt to be understood - which achieves the opposite outcome.
This is one of the main issues which arises through 2 complimenting opposites attempting to be more like the other. We leave our own house, we separate from our power.
In an embodied and healthy society, we would learn to show-up and communicate effectively from our own nature without ever leaving our house... while fully supporting, respecting, and seeking to understand more of the beautiful differences which exists in the other. Without demanding they be more like us.
She will list off a whole bunch of things she wants attempting to hit the nail on the head. A man who understands the feminine principle will feel underneath the words and see where they are emanating from. The under-developed man will only hear her words, and then utterly compromise his own nature by going out and attempting to be her words, for her. But this misses the truth entirely. She in no way wants you to go and do that. She needs you here.
All the qualities listed above, around what we assume a woman wants - These are not things you must go out and attempt to get, or find. These are some of the beautiful flowers that naturally sprout-up out of a mans loving presence with a woman. He doesnt even need to leave the room.
In the "male dating advice" realm, he attempts to learn how to act-out these qualities, as techniques to attract her, without ever meeting the foundational presence required to even show up as an embodied man with her. He spends his time attempting to display certain traits, without ever actually being in touch with them.
I really hope this was of benefit to you. Keep it simple, bring it back home.
Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.