A crucial part of establishing deeper clarity within, is knowing where your boundaries are. It’s knowing your limits and borders within life situations and relatings.
It’s knowing when you can be all-in, supporting, assisting, listening, caring, being deeply in compassion for others...& also, knowing when it becomes a “no-fucking-more” situation.
Clarity of self, is knowing when to push the “evacuation” button in order to protect your own being from a situation or person who is now harming you.
How do you know when something is harming you?...easy, it will pierce your being, viscerally. It will drain you. It will Impact your health. No part of you will want to continue being there, in the way in which you have been being there.
Everything within you will rise-up in rebellion, against the thing which you are allowing continue.
The rebellion is your spirits attempt to save itself, as your ego is refusing to listen, and feels as though it must continue with this suffering in order to prove something to itself, such as “I’m a good person”.
In my own process, this was a very big learning for me, which spanned over many years of “figuring it out”.
In my line of life(being a guide, mentor, healer), for as long as I can remember, people have always come to me wanting something. Asking of me, in a million different ways, which is beautiful, as this is a just a reflection of my purpose down here. It’s the space I facilitate. But...I always felt like I had to be there for everybody, to do right by them, regardless of how I was doing...in order to be kind and compassionate. Even when I didnt want to be...
When people become used to you being a certain way with them, they come to a place of just expecting it from you, always. Be careful of living up to the expectations of others.
One rule I live by is; I only speak about what I have experienced directly. Of what I KNOW...and let me tell you, I spent years giving away to others, something which I never had for myself.
It eventually made me very very sick. There is zero reverence in accepting your own self-abuse.
I am eternally grateful for my own experience, as it granted me the most profound learning.
What I learned, is that we tend to expect a whole lot from others(mostly unconsciously), usually because we refuse to look after and honor that place within ourselves.
In simple terms, share what you can share.
Give what you can give.
Support what you can support
...but also make sure you stay true to yourself, loyal to your boundaries. Establishing clarity in this area will grant you a more looked-after existence.
Knowing when to “eject” from a situation will be one of your greatest safety nets in this life.
Making no apology for looking after yourself...will probably take a bit more work :-)
The beautiful result is, In doing so, it will force others to reclaim their own responsibility in having to also do right by themselves.
The blame game needs to be dissolved, as it only further supports a lack of responsibility for ones own life.
Remember, you can only gift to others that which you have available to share. If your pockets are empty, and you yourself are starving ...well, you need to first honor that.
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