Men, you never wanna just be all about the "fuck"...
If you are just bringing the "fuck", she can never soften and fully trust you. Most men who are just in "fuck", generally feel very unsafe to women. She feels his mission. His desire to just DO and take. It lacks the option for connection, exchange, and real intimacy.
When a man is just about the "fuck", she can never truly connect with him. She will only be able to use him how he uses her. Which is absolutely limited. Don’t get me wrong, "fuck" is a beautiful energy...when it’s integrated.
Now, lets go the entirely opposite direction...
As a man, you never wanna just be about the “heart love" either - as to do so, means to disconnect from so much of what it means to be here as a man. The result of this disconnection is he starts to behave more like an under-developed woman, as he moves further away from his god-centre; His cock.
This mans presence is flaccid and gooey. Its off-putting, but tolerable, which makes it a much bigger issue.
The man who has been programmed with this deeply distorted view around his own s€xuality, and the fear around embodying it - is the man who apparently "respects" women so much, that he refuses to ever make contact with one. He deems a mans s€xual authenticity(polarity) as something dangerous, dirty, and disrespectful…out of "respect" for women.
This man withers away inside.
He also tends to appear as the self-proclaimed male-feminist, seeking to "protect" women in the most disempowering and disrespectful ways, by treating her like a child, pandering to the distorted narrative, while virtue signalling in an attempt to get his underlying s€xual needs met. It’s a deep creepy game, which is unconscious in most cases.
He cannot be himself, so instead he decides to be what he thinks women want him to be. He listens to childish unhealthy versions of femininity, and he allows this be his north-star.
This is the man who has been so compromised in his primal nature, that he has renounced his balls in exchange for the tactic of "do nice things for her until she finally falls in love with me and wants to have s€x." - Which of course, is not actually a thing.
This is the typical "nice" guy who hangs around attempting to get his needs met, without ever actually stating them.
This is the guy that ALL women know, and most woman have a few of them present in her pocket, incase she needs something. It’s not good or bad, it’s just the way it is. He literally teaches her how to use him. He facilitates every piece of it, due to his absolute distain for his own maleness.
He secretly wants her, but has zero ability to spark her s€x - As he has walked away from his own nature. The very thing which she is requiring from him. Instead, he vibrates more like her girlfriend.
As the “nice guy” isn’t blatantly hurting anyone, and because of his absolute lack of a spine, he is generally harmless(to begin with). So for her, he is nice and easy to keep around.
The "nice guy" is usually worse than the "fuck" guy, as the "nice guy" ends up harbouring huge amounts of resentment and hatred towards women over time. The “fuck” guy at least has his upfront authenticity on his side. He says what he wants, he speaks his desires, and you know where you stand with him. Sure, he too is underdeveloped in his connection to heart, but it is a far healthier place to begin from, as he has the foundation in place - self respect.
The point of this post, is to speak a little about the importance of integrated balance between a mans 2 poles, which will lead him to an intelligent and healthy wholeness. Where he can fuck AND love; Fucking Love.
To disregard one over the other is a dangerous game, as one aspect of his being is left underdeveloped and unmet.
I invite you, men, into exploring both sides of self.
If you fear your s€x and your desires, then begin honouring yourself by expressing them, out loud, especially to women who move you. Do this without needing anything in return. Just share your beautiful male love as a gift, and allow her to receive it however she is wanting to. But do you, and make no apology for it.
If you are more fearful and avoidant of your feelings; feelings such as loneliness, the yearning for connection, intimacy, and closeness with others... then start holding yourself more accountable in expressing these parts of your humanness with others. Maybe it could be as simple as telling a friend, family member, or partner just how much you love them.
It is usually quite simple. People are fucking terrified of loving, as it’s so vulnerable. Allow this be your work, without losing yourself to it of course. A healthy empowered love, is a grounded love. Never forget that.
Whatever it is for you, locate your discomfort, and move towards it, so that you can begin to balance out and strengthen.
I hope this posting has been of assistance to you, regardless of where you are at.
Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.