In the work I do, many of the men who come to see me, want to figure out how to be better with women. I see nothing wrong with this foundational desire for lovingness and connection.
Unfortunately, how modern men function around women has become very messy and inauthentic, mainly due to the lack of clear & healthy masculine role-models.
When I ask the man what problems he may be currently having, he will usually begin to ramble, sharing all of the things he is doing & saying that just dont seem to be "working". To the point I must interrupt him and ask "where is she in this story? How was she feeling in that moment?" - A confused look is usually the response.
Men, she is not a robot with codes, she is a person, with a heart!
Most men get so caught up in themselves and their egos, that they totally forget their is a beautiful woman infront of them, wanting to be felt. He gets swept up in his attempt to use her as an ego validation short-cut.
She doesnt really give a fuck about how many mountains you have climbed, if she cannot feel you, feeling her.
(sidenote: She also, for the most part, totally doesnt give a fuck about your problems. Dont get me wrong, she will smile and nod and listen to you, but in reality...she wishes you would stand up tall and sort your shit out, so you dont expect her to babysit and mother you. So she can start to love you more wildly, knowing that you got this, and her. So she can melt, more, and more, and more. A puddle of embodiment.)
..She wants you to feel her...To tune into her...To care enough about her, that you are choosing to be fully present for her. If you are NOT willing to be there, then please LEAVE HER ALONE!
Woman is a heart-based being, who needs to feel you meet her, so she can decide wether or not she can even begin to trust you.
Also, you can never be "good" with women. Let this go. You can only be good with yourself.
This, coincidentally, will allot you everything you need in order to connect deeper with a woman who you may be drawn to.
Id like to finish by saying; It is very difficult to have another human being like you, if you act and behave in a way which demonstrates you dislike yourself.
Stop avoiding your feelings. Stop performing. Stop chasing. Instead, be authentic(if you dont know what that means, go figure it out), and slow down, enough, so you can begin to make contact with her. Because if you dont, you will end up totally missing her.
You will have to face discomfort and fear within this process, but luckily its everything to do with you...which means you can take back responsibility for your own life; for your own healing.
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Bringing realness, clarity and deep truth to our mishandled human condition. Here to assist you in a REAL way, without the fluff. Pointing you to your magnificence. Relentlessly committed to being here, embodied.